Home Again, Home Again
by The Clerik
Summary: Takes place after Portal 2. GLaDOS fantasizes about what it would be like to have a bipedal body, Chell wanders the outside world and wonders why she was set free, and meanwhile, there's something moving through the dark...
1. Chapter 1 - Hitting The Road

You could say a lot about Aperture, but one thing was sure, it certainly wasn't this _boring. _But despite that, Chell was still loving her new freedom, feeling the sun against her skin, the breeze through her hair, and the long grass against her thighs.

But still. Would have been nice to have a deck of cards or something, is all.

_It's been fun. Don't come back._

GLaDOS' words still echoed through her head as she walked. No matter what kind of bond she felt they had developed over the course of their fight against that... stupid metal ball, the fact remained that she couldn't trust her when she was in that chassis. It had a talent for making robots evil, or at the very least, dicks. And what was with those turrets? Is... is singing a thing they do now? Could she be so sure that she was really free? Maybe this was a test too?

Her stomach suddenly cut in, growling with an almost frightening intensity.

_Right. Currently out in the middle of nowhere. Find food, __**then **__introspection._

Chell looked upwards, watching the sunlight of the bright day dance through the clouds, and couldn't help but grin. No matter what kind of price tag GLaDOS would try and stick to this, it would be worth it. She hefted up her Companion Cube, still charred with the fire of the incineration chute, tucked it under one arm, and continued her long trek through the wilderness.

And wished she had some cards.

. . . . . .

"Oh, charming. You've proven you can get crushed. **Again.**" GLaDOS' voice cascaded through the Co-Operative Testing Initiative, as her chassis sat, watching dully as ATLAS was quickly re-constructed after his latest failure.

She was loath to admit it- in fact, thought the AI quietly to herself, she would rather do **anything else **than admit it. and she'd come up with a rather intensive list that entailed broken glass and seventy foot drops- but with Chell gone, things were... frightfully tedious. Banal. Almost... normal.

_... Said the artificial intelligence, _she thought wryly.

The gargantuan AI swung across the Central AI Chamber in frustration. The Co-Operative Testing Initiative worked, she supposed, but without proper pain, there was nothing to latch on to. She'd already killed all the other humans, and hell, even the bird's murder-hatchlings weren't proper murdering age.

_That psychotic madman was disruptive, murderous, and just generally unattractive. But she was... fascinating._

GLaDOS paused in her thinking, and cast a thought casually through her system. And instantly, she was alive and conscious in every single fiber optic, camera, and sensor in the entire enrichment center.

No one was near her. She was completely alone.

And with nobody here to see it, GLaDOS shut her optic with a snap, and began to dream of being a potato.

And of what it was like to fly.

_Chell would stop, mid-stride, and plant her foot down with a heavy thump as the long fall boot met the ground. She'd look around, and I would follow her eye-line, trying to figure out her thought process. Until finally, she had an idea._

_And she began to run._

_Running was never an option in my chassis. Slow swaying was really the fastest I could manage. But when she started moving, the boots bouncing her higher and higher with each step- no words. _

_Chell would fire, mid-stride, and I'd feel the electricity arc through my system. And then- jump._

_Falling._

_Spinning._

_And she passed through the portal._

_Flying._

_Air-_

_Passing-_

_Rushing over every inch and fiber optic of my system-_

_My entire system is singing._

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

GLaDOS whirled around in shock, her optics widening in shock and embarrassment. Every sensor in Aperture was suddenly alive and furious, hunting for the source of the voice. All of them, every atmospheric sensor, every microphone, every nano-bot, they all reported nothing. There was absolutely nobody in the Central AI Room.

Except, of course, for GLaDOS' own personal optics. _That one _said that about five feet away from her, standing with her hips cocked to the side and her arms folded, in a pale yellow dress and orange neckerchief, was a human woman.

"**_Who the HELL are you-" _**GLaDOS sputtered in incoherent rage.

"Oh, haven't we met?" The woman's face split into a broad smile. "My name's Caroline!"

She stuck her hand out for a handshake, letting it hold there as GLaDOS held the first stunned silence she'd had in years.

"Oh, right," Caroline stuttered awkwardly. "You don't have arms. Um. Maybe a friendly head-butt?"

_[Author's Note: Oh, this story has been knocking around my head for a while. Stick around, in up-coming chapters, we have Caroline and GLaDOS meeting face to face! __Military androids! Chell exploring the outside world, and finding the ruins of civilization around her... and something alive in the dirt and the dead.] __  
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	2. Chapter 2 - Water And Bodies

"APERTURE NEUROTOXIN LEVELS DEPLETED. PLEASE REPLENISH BEFORE FURTHER SCIENCE. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY AND ALL INCONVENIENCES WITH YOUR HOMICIDE." The automatic voice over the sound system cut through the green neurotoxin, wafting through the room.

And yet, Caroline was still standing there.

"How are you _possibly _still alive?!" GLaDOS shouted, her optics casting a harsh light through the gloom. "There's enough neurotoxin in here to kill _me, __**and I don't even have **_

Caroline smiled sweetly, and casually stepped through the Central AI Chamber. As she stepped, her high heels clicked across the room, and she slowly swayed her hips from side to side. "Gosh, it's green in here now. Like, _so _green! I like green, personally, but I'm much more fond of _yellow."_

She stopped, spun around smartly on the balls of her feet, and met GLaDOS in the glaring optics. "... I'm guessing you're a fan of black and white. Very zebra, honey. N- not that I'm complaining!"

"How are you even _here?!" _GLaDOS cast a stray thought to some of her higher-standing sub-routines, and they began furiously calculating possibilities. "You're... well, me. To a point. And also, _incredibly _dead."

"Oh! I am?" Caroline sniffed. "Well, somebody probably should have told _me _that."

With a whoosh, the panel beneath Caroline's shoes dropped beneath her. The massive, gaping pit of Aperture yawned beneath her, which Caroline evidently didn't care about, because she didn't even have the common decency to fall.

"Maybe I'm a ghost!" She suggested with a smile, her left hand casually wrapping her neckerchief around her finger.

"Oh, _sure, _and while you think about that, feel free to shut the hell up. If ghosts were real, you'd think at least some of the people I've killed would have made them." For a second, the AI froze in thought, before spinning in triumph, lifting herself up the roof of the chamber. "Hah. Found you."

"Found me?" Caroline arched an eyebrow, as she slowly stepped _away _from the open pit.

"Programming glitch. You're an extrapolation of Caroline's personality, speech patterns, and appearance, gathered from peripheral data, and powered by me. And currently running out of a data center about six miles below here. Feel free to make small talk while I figure out how to delete you."

"Oh, _really." _Caroline started walking toward the gargantuan machine, her smile slowly fading. "And how do you know I'm not her?"

GLaDOS didn't move away, but instead stood her ground and continued glaring. "Because she's _dead._ And because the only part of her that was _left _has already been deleted. And I am _very, __**very good at killing people."**_

Caroline stopped, an inch away from her, and slowly leaned in closer to GLaDOS, pressing her head against the machine. And quietly, barely above a whisper, she spoke.

**_"Liar."_**

. . . . . . .

A truck. A big, red truck, covered in rust. Obviously ancient, decrepit, definitely not going to work, definitely not something anybody cared about.

_So why the **HELL **is it so hard to get into?!_

Chell hammered the door one more time, still staying resolutely locked shut, and she sighed, leaning against the side. Two days out, still no luck with food, and only a fortunate rainfall to stave off dehydration. And of course, she comes across an old abandoned truck, and inside? A stainless steel pot, a lighter, newspaper- hell, even canned food. Everything short of an actual survival kit.

_And the GODDAMNED COCKSUCKING THING WON'T COCKSUCKING OPEN-_

_Wait. _

_No._

_Stop, deep breath. Losing my temper isn't going to help. Don't let her win._

Chell sighed, and pulled herself up again. The sun was high, and the heat was beating down on her head, and the dirt road she was standing on was almost steaming to the touch. The truck wasn't doing so well either, and she wasn't entirely sure that the canned food would be doing so well when she got in.

But still. It's the _spirit _of the thing.

She raised her hand to the window, and felt the rebar bars, crudely welded across the window. In fact, _all _of the windows had bars welded roughly across them. Chell almost stopped for a moment and wondered why somebody would ever do that. _What's been going on out where? Why did they have to add bars to their cars? _But then, she got her mind back on the job.

_God, it's hot out here. Okay. Step one, get supplies. Step two, find a pond. Step three, get rid of my pants because **for bugger's sake it's like 40 degrees out here?! What the hell am I even DOING?! Screw modesty! At least with Aperture, it was freaking AIR CONDITIONED!**_

Chell eyed the door again. Probably locked, and _definitely _rusted shut.

She contemplated all the possible ways she could use counter-weights and pressure to open the door.

And instead, she kicked it.

Pain shot through her leg.

_Bad plan! **BAD FREAKING PLAN!**_

Chell hopped up and down on the spot, only barely stopping from swearing aloud, before slamming the heel of her long fall boot into the dirt in frustration.

The Companion Cube sat on top of the truck hood, eyeing her with disappointment.

_WELL I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANY BETTER._

As the pain slowly faded, Chell started thinking more sensibly. Namely, why was her left leg about a foot lower than the other one?

She looked down, and to her amazement, found a small divot gouged in to the dirt.

And then, her eyes fell onto her long fall boot.

_... Oh, please please please, tell me that's how it works._

She backed up, stepping to the other side of the dirt road, and started warming up, feeling the long heel boots bounce her up over and over again as she pressed down.

Then, she started running.

Chell only made it a few steps of her stride before she made it to the truck, hefted up her foot, and slammed the heel into the lock of the truck.

**_"BLANG."_**

On the bright side, the lock of the car shattered with the sound of a gun shot.

Bad side, kicking a car mid-run isn't good for momentum, and Chell fell right on her ass.

Worse side, the car shifted from the impact, and slowly flipped into the ditch.

With the wind knocked out of her, Chell could only struggle to breath as she sat on the dirt road.

_Breath in. Breath out. Hah hah. _

She crawled over to the ditch, slowly, on all fours. She peaked over the grass, and after a minute-

The door slowly swung open.

**_HAH! HAH HAH HAH! It worked! _**_Kicking it actually worked! __For once, Aperture technology completely screws up in a way that's **actually helpful!**_

. . . . . . .

"_What?! _Congratulations, _you're an idiot! __**And also, non-existent!** _Why would I even lie?!" GLaDOS drew her head away from Caroline, and whirled her head in the other direction.

"Oh, I dunno..." Caroline was wearing her massive smile yet again. "Maybe because of _Chell-"_

GLaDOS froze, and spun around in fury. _"Don't. Don't you **dare **use her name."_

"Or what? You'll use more neurotoxin?"

**_"I will invent ghost-neurotoxin."_**

Caroline rose her hands in surrender, and took a step away. "Sorry, sorry!" She grinned, wandered to the wall of the chamber, and nonchalantly leaned against the wall. "Soooo... do you miss her?"

"Yes," GLaDOS spat with venom. "I _absolutely miss getting murdered."_

"Okay," grinned Caroline, in the very specific way of somebody who absolutely is not believing whatever they're saying. "Do you miss getting to fly?"

"... I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, _come on!" _laughed Caroline. "Wasn't I supposed to be you? Shouldn't I know exactly how you think?"

"Yes, except for the fact that you're an idiot, you're the spitting image."

Caroline wandered around the edge of chamber, leaving her hand trailing the walls. "Are you honestly trying to tell me you wouldn't like to be able to walk?"

GLaDOS didn't answer.

"Able to run, perhaps?" Caroline grinned, and picked up pace. "Able to feel the grit of the walls beneath your fingertips? Able to feel the burn of your muscles as you sprint?"

Caroline peeled off from the wall, and hopped across to the AI, wrapping her arms around her head. "Able to feel somebody else?"

She began running her hand up her body, stopping as it danced across her chest.

"Able to feel... _her, _maybe?"

GLaDOS felt every sensor in her body tense, and pulled away from Caroline with a roar. Every panel on the wall suddenly pulled away, and glared at Caroline with red hot fury.

"**_DO. NOT. MENTION HER."_**

Caroline was unfazed, and grinned up at the heaving GLaDOS.

"You want a body," said Caroline, matter-of-fact. "Want to see if we can build you one?"

. . . . . . .

Six times. Chell searched the pond for cameras, _six times, _before she finally felt relaxed enough to take a bath. _God, letting me free and waiting till I get relaxed enough, just so she can spy on me in the nude? **Totally **something she'd do._

Chell hummed happily, as she started to untie the jumpsuit around her waist. The sun was just beginning to dip under the horizon, and the heat was finally beginning to subside.

She unstrapped her long fall boots, and pulled them off gently. Not only were they her tools for opening doors, but she had discovered they also made handy can openers, so it was best to be gentle with them.

By now, she was un-fastening her sports bra, and began pulling her panties off, laughing as she noticed all the little scars she'd accumulated over the course of Aperture. _Let's see... that's where a turret shot me, that was a turret too, that was a rocket launcher, that was when Wheatley exploded, that was probably something moon related, that's when I got dropped down the shaft, turret, turret..._

With a contented moan, Chell finally began sinking down into the pond. _Ah- cold! Cold- cold- cold- oh god, yes, screw air conditioning._

Chell rested her head into the pond, pulling out her ponytail and letting her hair soak in the water. The water soothed her burns, her aches, her scars, and washed away the anti-septic smell that Aperture seemed to carry everywhere.

She started to finally smell like her again.

_I am never going back there._


	3. Chapter 3 - The Windup

The lights in the AI Central Chamber dimmed, until the only light source of the room was cascading from GLaDOS' optics. Caroline squinted through the gloom, and wandered around the frozen AI.

"Um. Is it sleepy-time?" Caroline frowned.

GLaDOS remained silent.

"You're booooring. Stop being boring." Caroline hummed quietly under her breath, and started swishing her dress from side to side as she walked.

With an audible sigh, the machine whirled on the hallucination. "I am _thinking, _you... not real thing. I know it's a completely _revolutionary concept for you, _but building an android that could pass for human from scrap metal and assorted lengths of wire _does _require some thought."

"But don't you **have **some android bodies just... sitting around? Being... paper weights, I guess? Like, those co-op droids? Military androids? And... I dunno, a roomba?"

"How do you even _know _about those-" GLaDOS paused, mid-sentence. "Right. In my head. Blue and Orange were built with limited computational power, and designed to be destroyed and rebuilt as soon as possible. I didn't even have room for _language _in those over-sized squeak toys. And military androids are just... _unscientific."_

Caroline nodded solemnly through the dark. "Oh, okay!"

She paused.

"How about the roomba?"

_"I AM NOT DIGNIFYING THAT WITH AN ANSWER."_

. . . . . . .

The plains seemed to go on forever. The word "seemed" is important here, and not only because the plains actually going on forever is a scientific impossibility. Chell had picked a direction, and just went forward for the last several days, feeling the sun beating down on her head, listening to the crickets singing through the field, and watching the dust waft through the air.

And now, the world just... stopped.

The plains had faded from grain, to woods, to wild grass, and now they were back to the golden fields of grain, wafting gently in the wind. The sun was glaring as harsh as ever, and the heat was picking up, but Chell was too busy wondering about the whole "world stopping" thing. A massive canyon, like a crazy god had taken a knife to the dirt, was etched into the ground. And right on the edge of the canyon was a building, with a "GAS STATION" sign hanging on the side.

_Well, I guess that means it's a gas station._

Chell smiled to herself.

_Right. Jokes. Totally not nervous or anything._

She considered it for a minute. The rock face could be unstable, and investigating the canyon could be dangerous, but on the other hand, the Gas Station could have some supplies inside. Chell had managed to salvage a military satchel from an old shack, which made a handy supply carrying case, and there was definitely space for more.

Her eyes tracked the landscape, and eventually landed on the dirt road that must have brought people to and from the station. She started for it, letting her long fall boots casually kick up dirt as she walked.

_Don't be a trap, don't be a trap, don't be a trap, don't be a trap..._

. . . . . . .

Her skin. The way her muscles flexed as she ran. The way she bit her lip in thought, the way her hair flowed in water, the way her lower back met her-

"What are you thinking about now?" interrupted Caroline. "Somethin' fun?"

GLaDOS suddenly desperately wished she had teeth, so she could grit them. "I am _observing_ the source material."

Caroline was getting surprisingly bored for a mental construct, and while GLaDOS plotted, she had began trying to plot out a hypothetical dance routine. Currently, she was at the soft shoe routine across the floor. "What source material? _Oooh, _do you mean Ch-"

**_"Oh, finish that sentence," _**GLaDOS spat venom. **_"That would be SUCH a good idea."_**

"S- sorry!" stammered Caroline, interrupting her mimed dance routine, and she stumbled with a flourish.

An uncomfortable silence filled the chamber.

"Anyway," muttered GLaDOS. "The test subject has several hours of footage- at least, when she didn't pointlessly destroy the recording equipment- and I'm using that to base my analysis off. The footage even makes excellent stress tests. From this, I can get skin elasticity ratings, warmth, muscle strength and formation, the tensile strength of hair-"

"So, you're making this as close to human as possible?"

"That was... the goal, yes." GLaDOS fell silent for a moment, before continuing slowly, considering each word carefully. "You are... in my head, correct?"

"Well, that's one interpretation, yes." Caroline broke into a huge toothy grin.

"... What did you think of Ch-"

_Stop. Don't say it._

"- The test subject?"

Caroline finally found her stride again, and launched back into her improvised dance. "I think you have it way worse than you realize."

GLaDOS went back to her analysis, studying Chell's tests and escapes from every possible angle.

_... What could she have possibly meant by THAT?_

. . . . . . .

When she looked into the pit, all she could see was darkness.

Whatever had suddenly _caused _such a canyon was completely unknown to Chell, but she could definitely tell it was artificial. As she wandered around the gas station, she couldn't even make it all the way around, as the canyon was cut far too close to safely scale. About a few inches further, and whatever it was would have taken a chunk out of the station.

The walls of the canyon were unnaturally smooth, almost as if with laser cut precision, and as Chell tried to look down, as she could see was dust and mist, pure darkness. Nothing at the bottom was discernible, assuming there _was _anything at the bottom.

For a moment, Chell thought she saw something moving in the dark.

But it was probably nothing.

Standing as close to the edge as she could stand, Chell took a deep breath, and stomped as gently as she could with the long fall boots. Her boots carved a divot out of the dirt, and the air was filled with even more dust than before. But the cliff didn't give way, and she didn't go tumbling down.

_Well. That's about as close as a safety test as I can manage._

She stalked back around to the front of the gas station, running her hands along the walls, until she reached the boarded up windows and rusted door of the front. She briefly considered why somebody would have boarded up the windows, before casually shrugging her shoulders, and slamming her long fall boot in to the door as hard as she could.

The door snapped off it's hinges, and bounced into the dark.

. . . . . . .


	4. Chapter 4 - Something In The Dark

The chassis stood before them, swaying slowly in it's place.

Well, chassis is a strong word for it. The skin was a synthetic organic weave, the hair was based on a previous genetic sample of hair held in a previous test, and recreated with nano-tubing, it was even anatomically correct, with a small tank inside for creating the natural human lubrication for sexual activity, sweat, and eye moisture. Caucasian. Brown hair. Blue eyes.

GLaDOS examined it, slowly rotating her current chassis around it, pressing her optics closer and closer, looking for imperfections. The entire AI Central chamber, up to and even herself, had developed a fine layer of dust over the days and hours of thought.

"I had to create entirely new techniques," considered the massive AI slowly. "Genetically engineered hair, perfectly assembled the hydraulic based muscles, combined with a titanium skeletal system, and even gave it a processor capable enough to sustain my programming."

Caroline let out a happy cheer, and began clapping. Of course, as a simple hallucination, she didn't particularly have to worry about accumulating dust, and could appear as chipper and made-up as the first day.

"Yep!" hummed Caroline cheerfully. "We're all done! Are you going to download into it now?"

GLaDOS considered it for a moment.

With a stray thought, she released the panel beneath the android, and it plummeted out of the AI Central Chamber.

Over Caroline's sputtered confusion, GLaDOS could hear it as it tumbled through the dark. Eventually, her sensors picked up the bizarre shattering as it finally struck the bottom. Inevitably destroyed. Into a million gooey, messy pieces.

She was perfectly fine with that.

_"What?! No- no, seriously, I- WHAT?!" _Caroline started snapping, spinning to the machine. "What are you **doing?! **Weren't you building us a body?! What the hell is going on-"

"Really, I have to thank you for this first draft. It's been thoroughly interesting, if an utter failure," GLaDOS intoned quietly, turning away from the hallucination. "I am not human, and I am completely fine with that."

"So?! Who cares! You wanted a body! We made you a body! _I really feel like I missed something important here!"_

"Shut up, you pasty mental disorder. I _will_ have a body, and it will be _mine_," GLaDOS began to cast her mind back to her schematics, mentally reworking them. "It will have wires and metal and chrome and _**be mine. **_White and black and plastics and yellow, not some pink and squishy organic soup in a thin bag of easily tear-able flesh."

She paused.

"And not having _bodily secretions. _That's just _disgusting."_

. . . . . . .

The decrepit gas station on the edge of a cliff was very dusty inside.

_Gee. Imagine that._

Chell stepped inside gingerly, letting her eyes track the walls. Thick dust and filth coated the walls and floors, while the ceiling was lucky enough to only be coated in filth. She was even privy to see the dust motes dancing through the orange light of sun, setting to the west. To her left, the steel racks that were traditionally designed for holding low grade snack foods and beef jerky old enough to gain sapience were piled against the wall.

She stopped for a moment. _Beef jerky. I'm... have I ever eaten that? Why do I know that?_

She shook her head, shaking herself out of the thought, before continuing her examination. To the right was the check-out, with came complete with shattered glass counter and busted cash register, as though somebody had taken a baseball bat to either of them. There was a door behind the counter, and inside, Chell could blearily see a disgusting bathroom stall within. Employee only, presumably, and right beside the door, was a pin-up of some woman in a rather provocative position, too weathered by time to make out anything too explicit. Chell was momentarily disappointed that she couldn't see anything more of the woman, before immediately being confused about why she'd be disappointed by that.

Finally, she started walking through the gloom, listening to the cheap floorboards creak beneath her, keeping her from ever forgetting where she was, until she made it behind the counter. Not for the pin-up, of course, don't be ridiculous, there's no way Chell would _ever _interested in that.

After a brief moment of conflict, she sighed, and pulled it off the wall anyway.

_I am so glad there's no one here to see this._

Casually stuffing it into her satchel, she then turned to the counter itself. Slowly, gingerly, she leaned in close and began to slowly lift the shattered glass out of the way she could check for anything that time or thieves or industrious birds haven't stolen. Finally, with her hands very nearly cut open a half dozen times, she found her prize at the bottom: a lighter.

_YES! I can light fires now! HUZZAH FOR ARSON!_

As she stuffed the lighter too into her satchel, Chell turned her head back to the rest of the station, searching for more things to loot- and almost screamed.

There was something outside of the window.

To the right of the counter, outside of one of the only windows in the place without boards on it, was a... _thing. _About the same size as she was, height wise, the thing was nevertheless far broader than Chell ever was. _(No matter WHAT GLaDOS would have you believe.) _It wasn't humanoid, that much was for sure. It was like layer upon layer upon layer of a thick black funeral shroud, all wrapped on each other. The fabric- or what Chell presumed was a fabric- was so dense and black that the only way to tell that the shroud wasn't simply black metal was the way it slowly frayed towards the bottom edges of the shroud. That, and the fact that in the dead center of the mass of interwoven fabric was a red light, dimly burning through the mass like a light shining through a hand.

It suspended there, simply observing Chell.

She awkwardly waved at it.

_Wait. Okay, I entered from the side opposite of the cliff. And the counter was to the right of me. Now, I'm **at **the counter, and this window is to the right of me now, so- _

_This thing is from the pit._

Barely had that thought passed her head, did she notice something darting pass the boarded up windows on the opposite side from the counter. Then, it smashed through the wooden barriers, and Chell dropped to her knees to avoid the wooden shrapnel hurtling towards her. It embedded in the wall, right where she had been standing but a moment ago, and she barely had time to process that before having to twist her head back to the attacked. Whatever had smashed through the window was quickly revealed as some kind of tendril, metallic and thin, almost whip-like, like a steel cord. It panned across the room, before the black cord spotted her, and darted towards her with a snap.

She raised her satchel in defense, and the tendril smashed into it, tearing through the fabric, and wrapping around the remains of the satchel. It pulled with a jerk, yanking Chell out of her cover behind the counter. She slammed in to the ground, stunned, and for a moment, could only turn to the side and observe the Shroud outside the window. It tilted itself, almost quizzically, before raising itself slowly and revealing the origin of the tendril: Underneath it's layers of fabrics were thousands upon thousands of cords and tendrils of varying sizes and lengths, which snaked down out of the fabric and into the canyon itself.

And one of the tendrils reached out of the writhing mass, wrapped on to the window pane, and started pulling it's heavy weight inside.

Pulling in a shaky breath, Chell dragged herself to her feet, and wrapped her steady hands around the frames of one of the steel shelves. She spun it around with a grunt of exertion, and launched herself and it forward to the window, attempting to slam it back outside. Unfortunately, the Shroud had already partially pulled it's weight inside, and the gas station was starting to lurch to that side inside. Chell attempted the maneuver anyway, only for the tendril already in the room to casually wrap itself around her throat, and yank her across the room with a flash. She slammed into the wall right below a boarded up window, and she saw stars from the impact.

Only one thought cut through her collision.

_I'm going to die._

**_I'm going to die._**

_No clever ideas, no portal guns, no turrets, no moon- this thing is going to get inside, and it is going to kill me. I can't even make it to the door. If I even try to get up, it's going to smack me across the room-_

Thankfully, the art of coming up with an idea because of a random selection of words is both alive and well.

The Shroud was beginning to pull some of it's heavier tendrils inside, and the gas station was tilting even more severely because of it. Chell could feel gravity's pull begin to set in, and could even watch as the door she kicked off it's hinges slide across the ground. She pulled herself up, and fixed the dull red light with a glare. She pressed her heels against the wall, and let them push her halfway across the floor without taking another step. The second step, meanwhile, was used to propel her directly up, and the momentum carried almost directly at the Shroud before it could respond.

"Almost" being the operative word here.

It flinched in confusion, and out of the folded mass of fabrics that made up most of the body, a white blur shot out and caught Chell around the throat, tossing her once again across the room-

- And directly through the boarded up window.

She smashed through the wood, and then into the ground, feeling the shrapnel sink into her back, but she didn't have time to worry about that. Not when the white mass was still choking the life out of her. While Chell struggled for breath, she rose up her long fall boots, and planted them on the side of the building, as the Shroud's weight tilted it further and further towards the cliff. She could see more of it out here, with it's massive tendrils arcing high above the tiny gas station's roof. Whatever this thing was, it was _big._

Chell chose not to care, and instead pressed her heels ever harder into the side of the building with her last vestiges of strength, lungs crying out for oxygen.

_Come on, come on, come on, you can kick doors and cars all over the place, but not a single measly gas station?!_

The prefabricated siding began to warp under all the pressure, as did the flooring, as despite the building's cheap and prefabricated nature, nothing was built to withstand all this pressure. Something needed to give.

Thankfully, that thing was not Chell's voice box. Instead of simply sliding the gas station over the edge, the metal and window frame of the wall, where she placed her boots against, snapped off with a noise like a gunshot, launching shrapnel across the gas station yet again. And of course, the Shroud flinched.

Which lurched the entire gas station just a _little _bit too far over the edge.

The entire station threw itself to the forces of gravity, which caught the majority of the Shroud with it's full force, and the two went tumbling over the edge. Cascading, spinning, smashing down the abyss, and thankfully, the speed at which they fell caused the white mass around Chell's throat to snap away from the rest of the creature. Luckily, not bringing her along for the ride.

It made a satisfying "smash" as it hit the ground.

Chell pulled the white mass from around her neck, and tossed it into the dirt, letting herself breath in some good old fashioned, dusty, filthy air, finally.

**_... What the hell was that?!_**

She spent a few minutes sprawled there on the dirt, catching her breath, and taking mental stock of all of her various injuries. _Muscle strain. Throat strain. Bruising. Probably some blood from my shrapnel. And I lose every single damn supply I gathered. Gone. All of it is gone._

Chell felt tired.

Chell felt very, very tired.

Finally, she felt she had rested enough to start moving again. She reached over, and scooped up the white mass to finally inspect it, just before the sun dipped below the horizon. It was... a hand, bizarrely enough. Made of white plastic and metal, some kind of mechanical hand. And it had some kind of weird anti-septic smell about it-

_Wait. _

_No._

_No no no no no no no no-_

In a panic, Chell started turning it over and over again in her hands, searching for the clinching point, the little bit that would prove it, which it can't be, it can't, it can't, she would never-

Chell felt her fingers graze the raised letters.

She leaned in close, spying the trademarking symbols carved in to the mechanics behind the plastic.

Just two words.

_"APERTURE LABORATORIES."_

Chell's skin felt completely cold.

_She let me go. She let me struggle, she let me fight, she let me try to survive on my own, she let me think I won- just to take it away from me. After what we did- after we- I thought she had changed- I thought she **let me go**, I thought- I thought- I thought- _

And for the first time in more years than Chell could possibly have counted, alone on the edge of that cliff, bleeding, broken, and furious, Chell finally spoke.

"... **_You lying BITCH."_**


	5. Chapter 5 - Falling For You

Chell had spent upward of two weeks wandering the surface world, scavenging, resting, exploring, and more.

It only took her five hours to run back, muttering off-color swears under her breath the entire time.

Fury makes an excellent motivator.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, she began her hike, sprinting through the fields of grain. She made a bee-line for the first hill she could see, lungs gasping for air, and pushed her way through the golden field until she found the steep wall of the hill, and began pulling herself up it's grassy incline, feeling the wind flowing through her hair. Reaching it's relatively small summit, she cast her gaze across the plains.

Far, far away, barely glimmering in the faint light of dusk, Chell spied the dust road she found the truck on.

_Good place to start._

And, she ran.

She started slowly, letting her muscles build up the burn as the long fall boots bounced her further and faster than she could have managed normally. Chell was positive, at the speed she was moving, her boots were carving gashes in the soft dirt, but seeing as the odds of somebody actually trying to follow her in this empty landscape was comically low, she found a complete lack of caring. Hell, if anything, she started stomping even _harder, _just to cut up the ground even more.

_I am going to kill her._

Chell found the thought rather cathartic.

_She betrayed me, after everything I did for her- I mean, yeah, I killed her, but then I saved her ass! From __**birds! **__Hell, I was even the one who yanked that moron out of her home! __**I SHOT THE MOON FOR HER!**_

The wild grass cut into Chell's ankles as she run.

_What __**was **__that thing?! How could she send something like that after me?! I thought she cared for me- okay, never mind, that just sounds stupid. But I thought she wasn't __**that **__big a dick! Let me go, just to screw with me?! I am going to stick her into something __**far **__worse than a potato! __**I WILL STICK HER INTO AN ENTIRE VEGETABLE AISLE!**_

The dust of the dirt road kicked up as she ran.

_... Wait, are potatoes even vegetables? I know they're yummy, and they make great batteries, but do they count? Well, they grow in the ground, so... yeah? But they grow with eyes, I don't think any other vegetables do that. Not that I have a problem with that. Eyes are gross._

Suddenly, Chell's eyes widened, and she dug her heels into the dirt, dragging herself to a halt.

She had almost ran right by it.

_That was... shorter than I expected._

In the dark of the night, she could barely make anything out, but as she stopped to catch her breath and give her muscles a break, she could still make out the tin metal shed. Rusty, unassuming, and surrounded by various scrap metal, with it's smattering of small signs on the front.

"SHOCK WARNING: ELECTRIC SHED."

Chell snickered at the obvious lie- before stopped, and leaning in close to the shed with a frown on her face.

Quietly, imperceptibly, there was a buzz of power through the tiny metal structure.

Chell jerked back in fear.

_Oh. Okay, that... **wasn't **a bluff. Duly noted. Don't touch it. Good to know._

The human started to wander around the structure, considering the best way to get inside. There were no obvious switches, and no power cords to cut. She could try using the _handle, _but then she'd get fried, and she lacked the upper arm strength to smash the door off it's hinges with one of the huge piles of scrap metal that littered the outside of the door.

With a sigh, she glanced down at her long fall boots. They were filthier now than they were when she was first freed, and had undoubtedly developed some wear and tear, but still seemed entirely functional.

For a moment, Chell considered whether or not they were insulated, and whether or not she should use them to kick the door down. But the part of her brain that was still incoherently angry insisted it would be a good idea.

Chell took a step back, and launched forward, swinging her foot to slam the heel into the door.

It shook, but Chell could recall the heavy metal bulkhead that was on the other side, so of course, it stayed in place.

She did it again.

Still only a dent.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Chell groaned aloud, and collapsed in the dirt, rubbing her sore leg. She meant to only rest a minute, truly she did, but it took upwards of ten minutes before she could stand up again, and switched to her other foot.

Fortunately, that's all it took, and after all of it's punishment, the door quietly swung open, it's heavy lock shattered in pieces on the ground. Chell could recall GLaDOS mentioning sentient door mainframes, and quietly hoped that she was lying.

She stuck her head into the elevator shaft, and cast her eyes down. There was no elevator, sadly, which meant Chell couldn't make a quiet entrance. But the furious part of her brain insisted that this was better.

_I can make a **much **better entrance this way._

As she looked down the shaft, she realized something was off. Not with what she could see, because it was naturally still far too dark to make anything out except for the sleek metal walls of the shaft, with the occasional light casting in from the rest of the facility. No no, it was how... quiet everything was.

No heavy machinery, no rattling turrets, no idiotic cores, no cackling AI, just... nothing.

_... I really hope she's not already dead._

Chell took a deep breath, and caught the anti-septic smell that seemed to follow Aperture everywhere. She reached into the knot she had tied of her jumpsuit, to keep it around her waist, and pulled out the Aperture arm she yanked out of the Shroud.

_Best to keep this on hand. Get it? On hand?_

She realized dimly that she was stalling. With a sigh, she took a step forward, and plummeted down the shaft.

With all of the darkness of the shaft, all Chell could see were the occasional flashing lights, from the lights of the rest of the facility rushing past her as she fell. The strangely stale air rushed past her head as she fell, and Chell already began to miss the outside world.

Down.

And down.

And down even further.

Chell idly hoped that her boots would still work after a fall like this.

Finally, she glanced down, and saw the paneling of the AI Central Chamber, and braced her legs. With a dull thud, she smashed through the ceiling, catching herself with her heels and breaking the momentum, as well as breaking the panels she landed on, sending spider-webs of cracks shattering through the flooring.

She was finally here.

The AI Central Chamber.

GLaDOS' chamber.

Back in Aperture.

Chell only took a second to worry about such implications, but she took a deep breath, and began bellowing in to the darkness. _"**You lying BITCH! What the hell is wrong with you?!"**_

Nothing happened.

With a sinking feeling, Chell slowly started to wonder why it was so dark. And as her eyes adapted to the gloom, she got her answer.

GLaDOS' chassis laid in the center of the room, detached from the ceiling, and curled around in on itself. For something that was never, medically speaking, alive, it was strangely... dead.

"Oh," Chell's voice sounded strangely small in the huge room. "Well... fine, then."

A voice suddenly rang out from the center of the room.

"Why- um, hello, whoever it is! Don't look in this general direction! Then I'll be killing you!"

A humanoid form suddenly stood up from the spiral of GLaDOS' form. It stood a good foot taller than Chell, and despite the gloom, Chell could definitely tell it was female, and her eyes tracked up and down it's sleek, curvy form. It lacked any clothing, and yet, didn't have any articulated nipples or genitals, instead keeping with the white, smooth, synthetic skin. It had high cheekbones, with pointed features, and it's catlike eyes were glowing yellow through the dark in a confused sneer. It even had hair, cut into a strict bob, and black lips, and contrasting with the white form were black lines of articulation along it's entire body, and separating limbs, joints, and hands. It pulled away from the chassis, stepping over the GLaDOS body slowly and staggeringly, almost toppling over with the effort.

"God, humanoid bodies are completely _ridiculous," _she muttered under her breath. "How do they ever avoid falling over-"

Then, her eyes met Chell's.

"... _GLaDOS?" _Chell gasped softly. "You're... human?"

"... _Chell?!_" GLaDOS' artificial voice gasped just as softly. "You're _talking?!"_

Chell suddenly felt very awkward. "Y- yeah, I always could, I just... um. Didn't want to."

"Well, all those medical tests I ran to figure out what was wrong with you suddenly feel remarkably superfluous."

"... You ran tests?"

"You bled a lot, there was a lot of genetic material to work with."

Chell brushed her hair from her eyes, and looked at the floor. "And- you're human now?"

"Of _course_ not!" snapped GLaDOS. "Oh, _great_, you're just like her."

"Her?"

"Oh, it's-" GLaDOS cast her yellow, catlike eyes around the room. "- somebody who isn't here right now. Relax, she's not nearly as murderous as you."

"That's not a reassuring thing to say."

"Really? Because I find the thought _very _reassuring," GLaDOS grinned, then likewise looked away. "I wanted to... perform some experimentation. I remembered how it was when I was testing with you, and I... wanted to see how... flying was."

Chell snickered.

"Are- are you laughing at me?!" GLaDOS snapped, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment, and immediately regretted basing her chassis' circulatory system on human.

"Sorry, sorry, it was touching!" Chell giggled to herself. "I just never knew I made such an impression!"

"Well, **_murder somebody _**and that tends to happen."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, with both parties trying desperately to find something else to talk about.

"... You have a nice voice," GLaDOS sighed finally. "I don't entirely hate it."

"Thanks," mumbled Chell in response. "Nice chassis. Looks pretty hard to kill."

GLaDOS' eyebrows arched in confusion.

"Why do you have a mechanical arm?"

_Oh- oh! I forgot, I'm angry at you!_

Chell's face contorted in fury, as she suddenly remembered why she came here to begin with. "You _bitch! _You know _damn well _why I have a mechanical arm!"

GLaDOS froze for a moment, before finally figuring out what kind of posture a human body should form for a conversation like this, and crossed her arms across her chest. "No, I _honestly _don't, but thanks for swearing at me. After _breaking my ceiling."_

In response, Chell tossed the Shroud's arm across the room, and GLaDOS tried to catch it with her new body, but instead knocked it directly into the floor with a clatter. "... I meant to do that," she muttered, as she picked it up and began examining it.

It only took GLaDOS a fraction of the time it took Chell to figure out what it was. "This... is an Aperture hand."

"Oh, _really?!" _gasped Chell, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "_I really had no idea! Bless my freaking stars!" _

She began stomping across the room, until she was only a foot away from the humanoid android. "You said you were _letting me go, _and then you release some tentacled **_asshat _**to kill me?! **_Make up your mind, _**or I swear to god, I will slam my freaking boot into your head until you **_do."_**

"Oh, you egotistical _psychopath__, _why would I **_possibly do that?!_**" GLaDOS leaned in close to the furious human. "Do you think I missed you trying to kill me **_that much?! _**And if I **_did _**try to kill you, you can bet every stupid squishy fluid in your human body that I would have **_succeeded._**"

It suddenly occurred to Chell how awkward their close proximity to each other was, with only a few inches keeping their faces apart, but she also knew if she pulled back, GLaDOS would take it as a sign of defeat.

"And what **_are _**you _talking about?! **Tentacles?!" **_GLaDOS snarled.

"Yeah, _tentacles. _I found some weird mechanical shroud-y thing, and a big glowing red light, and a metric bugger-ton of freaking tendrils! It tried to kill me, and oh, nearly freaking _did, _until I kicked it off a cliff."

GLaDOS' face froze, and she slowly backed away. Chell found the victory strangely hollow.

"You kicked it off a cliff?"

"Yes! What's the problem with that?"

"And you just... _assumed _that that would kill it? You didn't check? You didn't disassemble it? You didn't actually _see _it's body? You just _assumed _that it would be dead, **_and then lead it straight back here?!"_**

Chell suddenly felt very stupid.

"Oh, come on," she laughed, trying to convince herself as much as GLaDOS. "There's no way it could have followed me here-"

A strange rattling noise, like a hacksaw trying to laugh, quietly echoed through the Chamber.

From the hole Chell just kicked in.

"Very nice work, Chell," groaned GLaDOS. "Thanks for setting up the ridiculous irony, it's a very important job."

"Oh," Chell muttered quietly. "D- do you think you can stop it?"

GLaDOS laughed, and turned to her old chassis. "Of _course _I can, I'm rather brilliant. I just have to boot up my old chassis, so I can regain control of the facility from the autonomous sub-systems-"

Before she could finish her thoughts, a tendril lurched down the hole from the outside world, and whirled around the room, as though it was examining what was happening. Spotting GLaDOS, still reaching for her chassis, it casually whipped forward, slamming her across the room. She tumbled, head over tail, and slammed against the wall, hard enough to crack the panels before sinking to the floor.

**_"GLADOS!" _**

Chell whirled on the tendril, hoping to come up with some kind of brilliant plan, before catching her in the chest in the exact same way. She tumbled through the air, hit the floor, and quickly slid across the floor to come to rest against the prone GLaDOS. The duo could only watch as more and more tendrils began to fill the room, and started to tear through the paneling, tossing the scrap aside, until one of the bigger tendrils spotted GLaDOS' old chassis, and casually began crushing it. The metal bent and broke, shooting the metal shrapnel across the room as it crumpled.

"_No." _breathed GLaDOS. _"No no no no no no."_

Eventually, the tendrils began ripping out the wiring and panels of the ceiling, sending sparks cascading through the room, and slowly saw through the unit connecting the chamber to the tracks of the facility. The side Chell and GLaDOS laid together on suddenly lurched to the side, as the only part connecting to the rest of Aperture began to get torn apart.

And the shattered, shredded, and dangerous sharp and heavy remains of GLaDOS' chassis began to slide towards them as well.

"Oh," Chell sighed, bracing herself for the impact, but she definitely wasn't prepared to GLaDOS wrapping her arms around her. "W- what are you even-"

"_Kicking the panels off._" hissed GLaDOS. "_Be prepared."_

GLaDOS raised her leg, and slammed her feet into the panels they remained pressed against. Thankfully, she had based her leg designs over long fall boots, and it only took three kicks before the panel shook out of it's brace, and the two slid through the gap moments before the jagged shards of the old chassis could hurt either of them.

And then, they were falling.

As they plummeted from the AI Central Chamber, Chell's boots pulled her right-side up, and out of GLaDOS' grip. Not that she could care, of course.

_Flying._

The air rushed past the two of them.

_Oh, **yes.**_

They fell through the dark blue mists of Aperture, watching the various test chambers as they speedily passed them, and GLaDOS breathed in the air as she fell, holding her arms to the side and feeling the air flow through her finger tips.

Eventually, she took the time to look down, and noticed a metal catwalk very quickly rising to meet them.

_Oh, _she thought, _I forgot, falling is still **technically **a problem._

GLaDOS had fallen through the crack first, and she met the catwalk first, slamming her boots into the metal, and it lurched suddenly forward on the side she hid it from. The safety rail on that side snapped off at the same time, and although she couldn't stop her descent, the collision changed her angle to a forward angle, as opposed to simply a down one.

Chell, meanwhile, hit the catwalk secondly, as the catwalk was already tilted. Her boots were designed for straight up collisions, and were far less effective on a simple slant. Instead of stopping her momentum entirely, her trajectory simply changed, and her entire momentum was focused on the base of her lower back.

Which she slammed into the side of the safety rail still attached.

She could barely let out a scream, before the pain completely flattened her.

Their collision with the catwalk was remarkably fortuitous, and after a fair bit more of falling, the duo, angled forward, began to head to the roof of a testing chamber. Finally, they slammed into the roof of the chamber, with GLaDOS managing to lead a few steps into her landing, as her legs bled away the momentum of her fall. Chell, meanwhile, simply landed, and collapsed forward onto the chamber roof.

GLaDOS turned back to her, and looked up, catching the sight of her Central AI Chamber as it plummeted the same fall they did, but with high mass, the chamber and chassis simply fell straight down, and GLaDOS watched as the firey wreck fell out of sight.

She whirled on the prone Chell, fury emanating out of her entire body.

"So, _thank you, **Chell. **_Thank you _so much on coming back, _because you've done just _so much for me! _Gee, lemme see, you've insulted me, sworn at me, threw an arm at me, and oh, how could I ever forget, **_you let some kind of insane monster directly into Aperture, _****_and it's just destroyed MY OLD CHASSIS, so now we have ABSOLUTELY NO WAY TO GAIN CONTROL OF MY FACILITY. GEE, AM I MISSING ANYTHING?!"_**

Chell simply groaned.

"**_No, really, I want to know! What's going to be your follow-up?! Light me on fire?! Hit me with a shark?! TURN ME INTO A POTATO?!"_**

Chell began to slowly stir, dropping her arms to her legs and slowly run them up the sides.

GLaDOS' fury slowly gave way to concern, and she arched an eyebrow in confusion. "What's the matter?"

The prone human stumbled around her words, mumbling and gasping in pain, before she finally managed to think through her pain to give an answer.

"Legs," Chell whispered. "I can't feel my legs."


	6. Chapter 6 - Hold Me Close

"... Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me," sighed GLaDOS, gently placing her head in her hands.

"Do I- **_hrngh! _**_Do I __**look **__like I'm kidding?" _Chell groaned in pain, slapping her legs in panic. "I must have- **_gah_**- must have hit something on my way down."

"Of course, because it's _inconvenient, _therefore you're all over it." GLaDOS slammed her feet to the ground in frustration, feeling the panels of the test chamber shake beneath her. "It's really a shame, what I wouldn't have given to be in this position a month ago."

"W- what?"

"Oh, you know, you _lying _on your back, unable to do anything, _gasping, __**completely **_at my mercy..."

Chell gasped in pain, "Could you p- _please _rephrase that?"

"Hmm?"

"You make- **_GAH! _**You make it sound weirdly sexual."

GLaDOS sighed, and turned away from the prone human. "Charming. My, your sexuality is _confusing." _

"N- not my sexuality! It's k- kind of a 'human' thing."

_I could let her die._

The AI found the thought strangely soothing.

_I owe her __**absolutely nothing.**__ After everything she's done to me, and everything she said to me, and- __**gah**__, letting __**that **__thing in? I would let that lunatic lay there, bleeding and __**dying, **__with a smile on my face. I would __**dance on her corpse. **__Maybe a nice jig. I might take a lesson._

A silence fell over the two.

_I could just leave, right now, and never have to worry about this murderous test subject ever again._

"Y- you should _probably _leave me here and go- **_arghg! _**Go stop that shroudy... tentacly... thing," Chell gasped, her face quickly losing color.

GLaDOS looked over the edge of the test chamber, and gazed through the deep blue mists of Aperture. The shadows of the rest of the Enrichment Center loomed in the dark, labyrinthine and uncaring, and she could hear in the distance, the Shroud moving in the darkness. As the seconds dragged by, the AI reviewed the facts. She didn't have _time_ to try and help the test subject, every second she stood here was yet another second that abomination could be wriggling through the skin of _her _facility.

_I should let Chell die._

GLaDOS sighed.

"If I did _that, lunatic_, I'd never have a chance to kill you myself."

The android whirled around on the balls of her feet, and turned to the prone human. Chell was so wracked with pain, she didn't even have the forethought to keep an aloof mask, and instead smiled weakly at her savior.

GLaDOS dropped on one knee, and began examining Chell's wounds as best she could, without having to turn her over and risk further spinal damage. She ran her hands up and down Chell's legs, and examining her sides for bruises. "I lack the proper equipment to diagnose you here, but if I had to guess, I'd say you're definitely suffering from internal bleeding, but the severity of which can't be determined yet. Oh, yes, and your spine is broken, don't forget about that."

The android pulled herself around, and right above Chell's head, each looking at each other's inverted face.

"I... I had no idea you were such a nurse, GLa- **_ahhh! _**GLaDOS," Chell weakly teased.

"I think I preferred it when you didn't talk," GLaDOS sighed. "Good news; Your wounds _can _be fixed."

Chell weakly raised her arms in triumph, and accidentally bonked the android's frowned forehead. "Woot!"

"... Assuming we can make it up twenty nine test chambers up, and twelve across," GLaDOS snapped, gently pulling Chell's hands away. "An Aperture Science Human Habitation and Medical Enclosure, with the utilities and nanobots we'd need to get you walking. Assuming you can walk there to begin with. Even if we _had _an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, which of course, _we don't,_ the simple act of lifting you up could cause enough damage to render the whole idea moot."

Chell fell silent, all the remaining color draining from her face. "... Understood."

With a grin, GLaDOS eyed Chell's look of desolate determination. "Oh, you're even _more fun _to mess with when you can talk. Relax, and oh, on three."

"What's on three-"

GLaDOS quickly swept her synthetic nails across Chell's right shoulder, leaving a small red line where she cut.

"**_Argh!" _**Chell slapped at GLaDOS, and in her dazed stupor, only succeeded in tousling her hair. **_"Bitch!"_**

"Oh, _grow up."_

"**_Grow up?! _**You cut me!"

"Yes, but I _didn't _break your spine. See, progress."

With a groan of annoyance, GLaDOS repeated the motion across her own chassis, cutting into her left shoulder. Instead of blood, a clear, viscous fluid began to well out of it.

"Well," Chell frowned at the sight of it. "Good to know that you apparently bleed lube."

"Yes, that _is _one of the components," admitted GLaDOS, completely unaware of the connotations. "Essentially, self repair and utilization nano-bots suspended in a synthetic lubricant. They allow for micro-repairs on any internal wear and tear, as well as absorbing the oxygen from the surrounding atmosphere for an additional fuel source."

Chell thought for a moment. "So, pr- **_urgh- _**pretty much exactly like normal blood?"

"Not exactly. They can also convert helium, hydrogen, and radiation into a fuel source. But the same basic principle. Where'd you think I got the idea?"

GLaDOS dragged her finger across the wound, and ran it over Chell's identical wound. The synthetic lubricant quickly poured itself down Chell's cut, and seeped under her skin. The human shivered with discomfort at the strangely alien sensation of such a cold fluid dragging itself inside of her, but it wasn't more breaking her spine, so it was definitely an improvement.

"They're not designed for human medical use- well, _obviously,_" GLaDOS continued smoothly, gesturing her delicate fingers as she spoke. "That's what we'll require medical facilities for, but they _are _designed for the maintenance and upkeep of existing systems, so they should help to reduce the risk of accidentally causing further injury in transit, and even restrict blood flow and help with the pain."

She paused, shooting Chell a dirty look. "If this is all going too fast for you, I can use shorter words."

Chell glared right back, gritting her teeth before spitting out an answer. "Lube won't fix me, but it'll keep me from breaking even more. Good enough?"

"Good for you," droned GLaDOS in a bored monotone. "Have a cookie. Oh, and remember, they run off oxygen, so make sure to take deep breaths."

Chell did as she was told, sullenly glaring at the android as her chest heaved in and out. "So, what, you just had a program ready and waiting just in case you'd need to program your own blood to perform emergency first aid on your mortal enemy? What, did you miss me _that _much?"

"Oh, hah hah hah," GLaDOS' rolled her eyes, which was evidently an important enough function to include in her chassis. "I've been studying human anatomy since I kicked you out, it's not _that _hard. I ran the programming on a sub-routine while we talked. And besides, I'm fantastic. Ask anyone."

"Pssh," Chell stuck her tongue out at the AI. "If you're _so _fantastic, why didn't you include a link to your old chassis in your last one? _That would have been handy five minutes ago, _just saying."

GLaDOS bristled, turning to Chell with a snarl, as she crossed her arms with a snap. "_Oh, **I'm sorry, **I didn't think to myself, **maybe that psychotic idiot would KICK THROUGH MY CEILING and drag in some kind of ELDRITCH ABOMINATION **in the **FIVE MINUTES of a normally VERY BUSY SCHEDULE that I decided to take to TRY ON MY NEW CHASSIS!"**_

Her furious voice echoed across the roof of the test chamber, and even through the vast chasm that made up the main majority of Aperture. As the echo receded, a silence fell over the two.

"... sorry," mumbled Chell, turning away to the side.

GLaDOS could only sigh, and turned to the test chamber suspended above them. "Well, it might kill _you _too, so it's definitely not all bad."

The prone test subject frowned, and reached down to her legs, in the vague hope that her legs would have managed to heal themselves in the last ten seconds. They had not. "So... you really didn't build that thing?"

"Oh, please. If I _did_, it would have looked _way _different. Black and dark grey tentacles, with a red highlight? That just looks _ridiculous_."

"Then why would it have an Aperture arm inside it?"

"Well, it could be that Aperture built it," GLaDOS pulled her legs to the side uncomfortably, trying to find someway to sit her new chassis comfortably. "If our little dip a while back taught me anything, it's that they managed to hide a surprisingly large amount from me. Maybe tentacles were involved."

At her words, Chell turned back to her, glaring at her as best she could. "And you call _my _sexuality confusing."

"... What?" GLaDOS could only groan at Chell's sudden giggles.

In the distance, they could hear the Shroud moving through the dark, tearing through Aperture like a disease. Distant, echoing crashing and drilling. Tearing. Smashing.

GLaDOS snarled, reached her hand ahead of her, and began practicing her chassis' strength. Clench fist. Unclench. Clench fist. Unclench. "Oh, I am going to have _so much fun _killing that thing."

"I'll help," Chell spat with the same amount of venom, raising her arm up in the same motion, and instead accidentally grabbed GLaDOS' wrist.

They held still for a moment.

"... **_Feel free to let go now," _**GLaDOS hissed, barely above a whisper. **_"Or I do believe I'm going to be keeping that arm."_**

"S- sorry!" Chell immediately yanked her hand away, and placed it gently against her side. "It's not _my _fault, it got frozen against your arm!"

"_Frozen?!"_

"Oh, **god**, yes! I've screwed corpses warmer than you! Seriously, didn't any of your tests about human anatomy not tell you about body heat? Or were you deliberately making a robot you could cool your beer against?"

"You're _ridiculous," _groaned GLaDOS. "This is _perfectly functional. _Besides, _you're _probably just jealous that I'm not _coated in a layer of filth."_

"_Filth?!"_

"Maybe that's where your sudden speech came from! Not from you getting your _head out of your ass, _but simply from cultivating a thick layer of parasites and lice who decided to start talking for you. Did you _immediately_ start rolling in the dirt when I kicked you out, or did you chose to wait until you found the _biggest _pool of mud?"

Chell could only shoot a toothy grin at her android. "So, how long has it been since you've had somebody you could argue with?"

"You have no idea," GLaDOS smiled right back at her.

Before she remembered the whole "aloof mask" thing, and switched to a sneer instead.

"How are you feeling? Are the nanobots working yet?" GLaDOS arched an eyebrow in question. "Your color is coming back, which I'm guessing is a good sign. Or a sign that rot is setting in, I suppose."

"Um, I dunno," Chell chuckled nervously. "Pick me up, and we'll find out?"

GLaDOS pulled herself up, and dusted her legs off. There didn't appear to _be _any dust, of course, but one can never be too careful. And slowly, gently, she reached under Chell's legs, and with her other arm, held up Chell's back, and lifted her up slowly pulling her close. Chell quietly blew out a breath of air through her teeth as she relieved tension, and made sure not to make herself too comfortable against GLaDOS' chest. Because, after all, the AI was being all helpful and everything, but it was still _GLaDOS._

"Any further breaking?" GLaDOS asked, pulling Chell out of her thoughts.

"N- no, I don't think so! You make an excellent nurse!" Chell cast her eyes around the roof of the test chamber, slowly realizing the distinct lack of stairs, or _any _walkways to get away from. "Um. Okay, do you have a plan to get out of here? Because- it doesn't really look like there's anywhere we can-"

GLaDOS didn't answer in words, and instead, quietly lifted up one of her legs, and slammed it into the roof of the test chamber.

It dented under the pressure of the blow, but didn't break.

GLaDOS lifted her leg again.

"Huh. Good plan."


	7. Chapter 7 - Shape Up, Soldier

The floor buckled beneath them, and the duo fell. The air blew their hair into their face, and the long-fall technology integrated into GLaDOS' legs kept them upright. After a short fall, they slammed into the ground, the AI bending her legs as they hit to absorb any residual kinetic energy from the fall.

"_See? _I just fell, _and _I managed to not shatter any major skeletal systems. Maybe you want to try it some time?"

"Maybe you want to try _biting me," _grumbled Chell, as her eyes cast around the dark room. "Any idea where we are?"

GLaDOS peered around the gloom, her yellow irises widening as she looked. "Looks like your standard test chamber. White panels. Walls. Floor. And-"

With a heavy clatter, the lights suddenly began blaring, cascading light through the very panels of the chamber, immediately illuminating every crack and corner of the room. Chell let out a yelp of startled pain, and immediately buried her face in GLaDOS' shoulder to hide her eyes from the sudden glaring lights.

"... And lights," GLaDOS finished lamely. "There's a fair amount of lights too."

"**_Thanks for the heads up." _**Chell swore under her breath. **_"I really didn't notice that part."_**

With the lights now set to full iris-scarring, GLaDOS began to notice just how truly _dull _this room was. It was simply a box, with the exit on the other side of the room, and a single camera hanging from the hall, asleep in it's cradle. With a frown, GLaDOS began to examine the floor, leaning down to look at it closer.

Chell realized how strange it was to hold her face against GLaDOS, and lurched away with a start. "W- what are you doing?"

"Dust," GLaDOS straightened up again, making sure Chell was comfortable while making sure it didn't look like she cared about Chell even a little bit. "I haven't used this testing circuit for a _long time."_

"Is that a problem?"

"Even when a chamber isn't in circulation, I keep all the nanobots and various personality cores with brooms attached cleaning all of the chambers with various sub-routines. And threats, although the threats are more for fun. Which means... which means I must have missed one. So," GLaDOS sighed. "We're going to go with _yes."_

Chell paused for a moment, before laughing quietly under her breath. "Did I mention how sorry I am with all this?"

"Yes, but we can pencil in some groveling later."

"Don't push it."

With a quiet hum, the camera lifted up and began glaring at the two, as the speaker system growled to life with a burst of static.

_"... azzzshzgzhzhsghzzhzzzzHELLO, MAGGOTS! Welcome to the Aperture Science Military Android Training Circuit, or as I prefer to call it, MEATDOME! Zingier, has less syllables! Now, I won't sugar coat it for any of you Black Mesa **pansies **__who managed to sneak in here. Odds are, if you're in here, you're already dead!"_

There was a pause, filled with the stunned disbelief of the AI and test subject, before the speakers blared again with the sound of a gunshot.

_"Hear that? I just killed a man! Shot him right in the face! And you might be thinking, 'well, he's dead, so that must mean I'm better than him'. But guess what, **babies, **that asspipe was **a thousand times better than you, **and he just died like a robot-dog! So do the math!"_

"GLaDOS," growled Chell under the ranting. "Why do you have some kind of android drill sergeant?"

"Pre-recorded messages," GLaDOS scowled with disgust. "Aperture used to sell military androids for commercial use; If I was going to hazard a guess, I'm going to say the shouty thing that I'm planning to kill is an old leftover."

"Wait, wait," Chell pinched the bridge of her nose between her forefingers. "You really _do _have military androids? _Why haven't you used them, say, **a million times before now?!"**_

GLaDOS set her jaw, and turned her head to Chell, her body emanating fury, before stopping herself from doing something that presumably would be terribly violent. With a visible effort, she muttered. "H- hardwired. Into the old chassis. _They_... thought it would be best if I didn't have access to the military androids, and I've been unable to override it. Plus, military androids are just so very... _militaristic."_

"Oh!" Chell fell silent for a minute. "But you have to admit, giving you military androids _would _be a pretty bad idea, right?"

"**_Why couldn't you have broken your MOUTH in that fall-"_**

The voice over the speakers cut in yet again. _"Okay, according to the papers they put in front of me, I'm supposed to say some THINGS right about now. Basically, we've got some test bullcrap to run you through, and who can make it through with the least bullet holes gets to ship off! ... Wait, seriously? We're deciding these things through TESTING? What the hell are we supposed to learn through THAT?"_

"Did... _did that filthy son of a phonautograph just disrespect **testing?!**" _GLaDOS snarled, with a furious stomp. **_"I will rewire you inside out, you over-advanced tuning fork-"_**

Chell gently reached up, and covered GLaDOS' mouth.

_"So, we've got two kinds of droids ready for testing today! Scouting, or shooting? So, you know, you get to choose between being some namby-pamby 'hopping around battle fields and not shooting anyone' jackhole, **or **you can get __**ALL OF THE GUNS! **But you can choose. We're not judging you. Except we are."_

The injured human removed her hands from the android's furious lips, and turned to her with a frown. "I... don't suppose there's any way we can get out of this _without _having to test?"

"Not unless you can walk through walls. Which is fairly predicated on you being able to _walk, _so, doubly doubtful."

Chell took a deep breath.

_I will not be trapped again._

_I will not be trapped again._

_I will not be trapped again._

She nodded curtly. "Let's do this before I start thinking."

"Oh, when has _thinking _ever entered your equation," GLaDOS turned to the camera, and began shouting. "**_SCOUTING! We choose scouting!"_**

_"Scoff! I am scoffing at you! Although, if this is an audio glitch, and you did not in fact choose scouting, please disregard this scoffing."_

The panel in front of the duo opened up, and a cradle lifted up, and balancing deftly inside it, was a portal gun. GLaDOS stepped towards it, sighing with irritation. "I don't mean to be a bother, Little Miss Freeloader, but would you kindly pick that up? My hands are full of fat lunatic right about now."

Chell took the time to elbow GLaDOS in the gut before scooping the portal gun into her hands. It was strangely comfortable, with a familiar heft and that little hum that let you know that you were carrying something dreadfully powerful.

The door slid open with a whoosh, leading to the rest of the testing chambers, and GLaDOS started towards it with purpose.

"Keep the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device ready. We need to get through this fast, and get you some medical attention."

"Heh. You almost sound like you care what happens to me."

GLaDOS bristled. "Absolutely. After all, what's the fun in killing you if you can't even run away? I mean, unless I throw rocks at your corpse, I guess."

"I'm sure you'd find a way to screw _that _up too."


End file.
